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Richard Branson and bellybuttons

I once taught Richard Branson how to do the running man- it was for a charity thing for work, but then when he got up on stage to do it he was really bad, worse then my mum when I tried to teach her in the early nineties. He literally just jogged on the spot where as my mum at least had the scrapey foot thing down. Geez, how hard can it be, Dick?

Or perhaps I just failed at teaching….I have given 3 people driving lessons who all failed first attempts to pass. In New Zealand, where I lived for 7 years, it is all pretty low key, to be honest I didn’t even have my full license when I was teaching them which might explain it. (Don’t tell my mum this.)

While on this dodgy half-license I once drove through a police check point at ninety kilometres an hour with a car full of yoofs. I was a youth worker and I’d taken them to the beach for the day but was driving without my spectacles and thought the police waving me down were just random flashy lights. They chased me and did that thing where they brake in front of you to make you stop. I may also have been on one of those follow-the-cops-around-tv-shows. (Don’t tell my mum this either.)

You see, I should really wear my glasses as I have a stigmatism in one eyeball. But I don’t because I just spend half my life trying to remember where I’ve put them.

As well as a stigmatism, I also have toes that are very finger like, and in fact I can pick stuff up off the floor with them and put it in my mouth. Not that I would ever do that with biscuits or popcorn as a grotesque attempt to be the life and soul of a party or anything ever as that is clearly just filthy…

You may think THAT rank. But I’ll tell you what is rank- belly buttons. UGH. I am totally allergic to people touching my belly button. Even just typing that makes me quiver oddly. Ramona loves trying to grab my belly button so in the name of sacrificial mothering I try to steel myself.

Mothering is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love being a mum to Ramona more than I thought possible. It took us nearly three years to fall pregnant with Ramona and she feels like a precious little miracle.

TADA! That was 7 things you didn’t know about me- ha, and there you were thinking I was just having a particuarly colourful mind vomit. I was tagged in this cute little meme by Wild Thing’s Bek so in turn I am tagging  Mel Wiggins, Valerie from Mama’s Little Beats, Living it Little’s Fee, Miss Lizzie B,   Mel of The Cookies , Claire from Border Stories and the Jacqui the Barefoot Crofter

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5 responses »

  1. Thank you so much for the tag! That’s my second this week. I need to get busy and pass it on. That was a brilliantly funny post by the way – you do make me laugh 🙂

    Reply
    • Ah, crikey, thanks 🙂

      You must do it, it is revealing what comes to mind as obviously there are a million things the blogosphere doesn’t know about you. I mean, why admit to a fear of belly buttons?

      Reply
  2. Haha my husband is the same about bellybuttons. He claims he’ll explode if anything touches it. Of course this means the children and I spend hours plotting…

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Ain’t no jumper like a seventies acrylic waistcoat « Lulastic and the Hippyshake

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